Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Exploration and feeling lost

The Fool card of the World Spirit Tarot by Jessica Godino and Lauren O'Leary.

I have been wandering and I have been lost. The firm footing of my identity, my Self has been shifting, forming and reforming. My art is reflecting this I think. I have been exploring new styles...embroidery, painting, texture. I am enchanted with grey and the soft heathered colors of early morning...pinks, greens, soft browns. Little animals, trees, and flowers populate my imagination, my inner landscape. I am changing and on a good day, it is intoxicating. On a bad day, I feel like I'm falling on my ass.
I worry that my art isn't any good...or worse, that it is mediocre. I am afraid of failure, even though I know there is really no such things as failure in the learning process if you just keep trying and learning.
If I'm honest here, I want to sell my art...I want to establish myself as an artist locally and online. So, what are my goals? Where am I going with my art? Will people buy my art? Will people like it? What will I do next? These are questions that are mixed up with emotions...insecurity, vulnerability and my own courage to examine them and express them. So, I am wandering right now...I am stepping off that roof without looking down and hopefully the birds and the crows will help me out, give me a lift so I don't fall flat. I embrace the journey and the adventure.

1 comment:

Angela said...

Well, I think your art is wonderful. You and your mom had some wonderful pieces at the demo garden. In yoga, you state your intention to yourself at the beginning of your practice. You know your intention now. :-)

I forgot to tell you--I have the piece that Michael bought from you at the holiday bazaar in the middle of the stone below my mantle. I think of you every time I see it.