Wildwood Mama

Nature Triskelion

2012-01-18T11:06:00.005-05:00

My newest assemblage...acorns, pine scales, gourd seeds, coquina shells and mesquite beans all sealed down to an old scratched record with mod podge and red georgia clay. Framed with various woods that have been washed with a soft blue patina. I'm hooked. Can't wait to do another one.

Sprucing up the Art Fair Booth

2012-01-06T09:20:00.008-05:00

From what I've learned every artist must design their art fair booth to accomodate their own specific needs. I use reed screens to hang my pieces and a table to demonstrate and set out the smaller frames but I want to spruce it up a bit so that it is prettier and easier to use. I knew that I wanted a natural style to go with my art but I had two important considerations...

1. a strict budget
2. lightweight walls

So, this is what I did (Using the pronoun "I" loosely here since Mark and Riona have helped a bunch):

1. Purchase a reed screen from Home Depot for $25 and cut it in half.
2. Purchase fabric from Online Fabric Store for super low prices particularly if you have a coupon code for flat rate shipping. I got 8 yards of 60" natural burlap for 4 panels sized 60" x 72". It cost under $20 total....would have been over $32 at the craft store.

3. Purchase garlands at the craft store for half off.
4. Attach a bamboo pole (Mark brought some home from a job) to the top with ropes and jute string then fasten garland on to the top as well.
5. Hang the screen from somewhere in the house and beat the cats off of it every two minutes. 6. Attach the burlap with embroidery string at the top. I did both sides (I want the back to covered in burlap too) but only at the top.
7. Run jute string across and tie at intervals through the entire thing so that you have loops to hang the art from and to attach the burlap to the screen on both sides. Redo this at least twenty times until you have it just right.
8. Redo it again.
9. Hang another garland going down the side.
10. Beat the cats off of it.

I am hanging my frames with clothespins and organizing them sort of haphazardly. It always surprises me how much work and effort goes into a relaxed, sort of natural look...sometimes I think it is a harder style to achieve than all anal and ordered and symmetrical. It's like natural makeup...an oxymoron.
I had the idea to just write each individual frame's price on its clothespin...this just seems too easy and efficient...am I missing a flaw here? Hopefully not.

I didn't really bother to straighten up the frames for this last photo...I was too worn out from keeping the cats from climbing the dang thing, picking up dropped clothespins and moving it so the child or the dogs could run through. It was chaos, this whole project was inspired chaos and guess what? I need to do it all again for the other wall. woo hoo.

Tree Magic, Plum Trees

2011-12-24T08:27:00.003-05:00

When we moved out to the middle of the woods, one of the first things we did was plant trees in our red clay front yard. We planted two Thundercloud Plums that we found for a good deal at the Big Lots...these trees have been a delight...they took a bit to spread out but their pink blossoms in the spring and year round rich purple leaves are lovely in the front yard. I use their branches when I can...when they need pruning and are able to give me some of their energy.
Dr James Maertens of the Bardic Institute writes in his article Dryads and the magical properties of Wood "Plum is a consummate wand wood for the creative artist or anyone desiring to focus on magic that will enhance skill, overcome barriers, keep people or disturbance at bay, evoke toughness and persistence, patience, protection, and healing, especially of the blood."
Plum has a dark, textured sheen to it when sealed and has a loving, powerful energy to me...its branches and twigs are strong and straight with an air of determined resolve...definitely an encouraging wood to drive ambition and persistence. I can see though how it could turn to jealousy though and even obsession.

Tree Magic, Sweetgums

2011-12-24T08:21:00.009-05:00

We have lots of Sweetgum trees around here and they are one of my favorite trees...they are happy, hardy trees with lovely star shaped leaves that turn pretty colors in the fall. Some of the magical things I've read about Sweetgums...they have Faerie and Sky magic, calming and protective energy that brings happy vibes that quell anxiety. Their witch burrs are particularly protective. Oh, and they attract Luna Moths!

Sweetgum wood is particularly nice to work with...it has a lovely texture and puts me in a good mood when I craft with it.

Wacky cute snowy owls craft for the winter season

2011-12-10T15:23:00.005-05:00

This is my kind of craft...pinecones and sticks and birds...we had so much fun doing this! Check this link for the instructions from the NWF's site but here is ours...
We gathered pine cones and used some of my twigs, leaves and honeysuckle vine for the nest as well as pretty paper, white paper, mod podge, cotton balls, coffee filters and felt....beads and a cigar box.
We layered the cigar box with coffee filters, shiny red paper and pulled apart cotton balls for the snowy ground then layered the inside of the top with coffee filters and a glittery moon and stars for the snowy winter sky.
Riona picked out all the beads for the little owly eyes.
We painted the pine cones with mod podge then covered them with pulled apart cotton balls.

Then yellow circles of felt for the eyes (and beads) and black triangles for the beaks. I ended up having to hot glue gun the beads on.

Then the wings...white paper with cotton glued on...

Put it all together and you get a wacky cute snowy owl family....Riona is completely smitten with hers.
She lays them down at night, closes the box a bit for bedtime then opens it and sets them back up in the morning. It's so sweet. Oh and to get that circular nesty look I used honeysuckle vines cause they sort of grow in circles anyway and they are easy to manipulate.

MeccaFest arts festival in Carrollton GA

2011-10-10T08:03:00.003-04:00

MeccaFest Arts Festival in Carrollton GA...so much talent!

Blockhead Arts...love her Vitality and the energy of her Art! Here's the link to her blog as well...Blockhead Arts

The talented Mr. Ron Free of the Big Duluth Creative Studio and some of his Fantastic creations!

Kathrine Allen-Coleman's Dress Paintings...Suck it Up!

Seth Fitts

Sally Austin, Textile Artist

Woody Jones, Mechanical Amusements

My first two festivals

2011-10-08T19:15:00.007-04:00

In September, Mama and I set up our booth at Roopville then at the McIntosh Fall Festival and PowWow.

Both were great experiences and we learned a lot. I got a lot of love from the people coming through...some were outright admiring while others were more like..."hmmm...well, that is interesting." Between the two festivals I broke even and made a little bit of profit which went directly to funnel cakes and bbq and ice cream homemade by these delightful folks at Cavender Creek.

I have so many questions though...where do I fit in with my frames? Arts...Crafts...Folk Art? Who are my people? Do I go to juried arts shows and festivals or more crafty type community festivals?

One thing I have learned and this came directly from a new friend of mine Ron Free of the Big Duluth Creative Studio...find something that you love doing, stick with it and get really good at it...well, something like that but you know, it resonated and I do believe these twiggy twigs are the thing for me.

The next step...make more frames! Painted frames, framed collages, blank frames, custom frames.....anything that can be sealed down is getting framed! And in between that...keep looking for my people.

McIntosh Fall Festival

2011-08-30T13:00:00.001-04:00

Teepees set up Photo by L.Heilman

Riona at a bead vendor booth a few years back

The McIntosh Fall Festival is coming up...September 24th and 25th 2011. This is a fun fall festival with PowWow activities...Native American dancing, music, teepees set up, all kinds of cool stuff along with kid's activities, church bbq and arts and crafts vendors. Also, it runs right along the river...can you tell I love this festival? Well, it is my favorite park after all.
And most exciting (to me) is that I will be camping and vending my frames there this year! Mama, Suzanne and I have teamed up as the Crow's Nest Collective...offering an eclectic mix of handcrafted goodies.
Annette Hartman presents her beautifully designed jewelry and gorgeous cards...

Suzanne Hartman presents her mossy creations and flower adornments, Woodland Shimmer

and my photography and frames, Wildwood Craftings.

Also, more info to come on Steve's blacksmithing! So excited to be there this year!

Here's some more festival info:
"Arts & craft festival featuring Native American craftsman, dancers, musicians, foods, Confederate encampment. Trading blanket Saturday evening. Park offers horse trails, hiking trails, play & splash, primitive camping (no hookups) free to vendors. Beautiful wooded park with wild life, riverside picnic area within minutes of Carrollton, Newnan, and Douglasville. Only handmade arts & crafts!"

My post on this festival from a few years back with more photos is here.

Drum Circle, Dancer

2011-08-30T10:00:00.001-04:00

When dusk falls and we make our way to the drum circle, my energy is like a curl of excitement waiting to unfold at the base of my spine. Already the fire keepers have built a framework of wood that houses young flames. The drummers are finding their places on the outer ring of the circle, sitting down with their drums before them, drumskins vibrating with the energy about to unfurl. They test a rhythm, simple like a heartbeat. Someone slides in with a more complicated layer. Suddenly, there is a solid round of beats that fly in circles low to the earth then spiral up like the smoke from the fire. My hips begin to move in a figure eight, drawing the infinity symbol in the air as I stand on the outer ring of the circle near the drummers. My body knows when the drummers have found their collective beat and I couldn’t sit down even if I wanted to. The creative energy in my womb is unwinding like a snake and traveling along the curves of my body, slow at first then to a shimmy. I make my way to the fire.

Roopville Homecoming Festival

2011-08-30T07:22:00.030-04:00

Train rides at the Roopville Homecoming Festival
Photo by Ricky Stilley/Times-Georgian

The Roopville Homecoming Festival is a fun little festival right here in my own sweet town...this year it is on September 17th and will go from 8am to 9pm. There will be kids' activities, church bbq, a parade and of course arts and crafts vendors....oh and a car show! Mama, Suzanne and I have teamed up as the Crow's Nest Collective to vend there this year (my first show!). I've been an arts and crafts festival fanatic for years and now I get to show my own work...can you tell I'm excited?!

photo by Laura Heilman

My mom, Annette Hartman makes lovely jewelry and handcrafted cards...

My sister just opened an Etsy store, Woodland Shimmer...her mossy creations are magical...

and my photography and twiggy frames are here at Wildwood Craftings.

You can check out an old post of mine about the festival and some more photos here.

A little more info about Roopville from here...

The City of Roopville, was incorporated in 1885, growing from the original settlement started by Martin Roop, his wife, Elizabeth, and their 10 children.
Roop migrated to Georgia from South Carolina and settled in the area in 1855. The Roop family became prosperous farmers and businessmen and contributed to the development of the entire area.
Located on a high ridge in southern Carroll County nine miles southwest of Carrollton, Roopville is a small, close-knit community with a population of about 250.
The Roopville Historical Society founded a museum located off U.S. 27 just past the post office to help preserve the city's rich history. The historical society also sponsors the annual Roopville Homecoming Festival in September. This will be its 70th year and it will include many arts and crafts from local artist.
The municipal address for Roopville, Georgia is:

Roopville
P.O. Box 165,
Roopville, Georgia 30170
(770) 854-7977

Grateful

2011-08-30T07:17:00.002-04:00

For once I can see my path before me...a simple thing but profound...my photography and my frame craft is the fulfillment of a lifelong dream. To find something that is spiritually and artfully meaningful to me and then to run with it. Dream, Make, Do...go to festivals...camp out with the family. Work, work, work...I can see what to do now and how to make this happen. What a feeling...wasn't sure if I'd ever find it.
Ever since that fateful night down at the Goddess Tree when we exchanged gifts, her and I, this path has been waiting for me and now I have found it. I am grateful.

Wildwood Craftings Original Photography and Twiggy Frames

2011-08-10T12:35:00.000-04:00

My passion, Wildwood Craftings is on Etsy...original photography and twiggy frames!

Important things to know...all of my photos are originals and I use archival photo paper with a lustre coating that will last a lifetime. My Twiggy Frames are very sturdy. I use harvested wood, cotton fabric, matte board backing, glue and hemp twine for a durable and well built structure. Also, each photo is bordered by black photo corners. I make sure that every angle of my frames are pretty and finished out (front, back, sides, etc).

I have found great joy in making my Twiggy Frames. Every step of this process has brought adventure, harmony and expression into my life. I go for walks and harvest the branches and twigs, always with gratitude for the gift the trees are giving me. Sitting out under the blue umbrella in the yard, I cut the branches down to shape. They cure for about a month then are ready to be crafted into a frame. My photographs are original and printed on archival quality paper. The subjects vary...but my favorites are birds, old barns, the river out my way and of course the woods. Putting these frames together is like having a conversation with the trees and the image on the photo paper...I am quiet when I pick out the twigs and place them together so that I can hear what they have to say...how they want to lay together to make a window in a Fey world.

Some of my fave frames and photos...

Vespa Crabro, European Hornet

2011-07-25T06:43:00.003-04:00

Easily confused with the Japanese Hornet which doesn't live here in the States, the European Hornet is a gentle giant...generally they only sting when threatened. We have these brutish beauties at our house now, swarming around the porch lights. I went outside to stand near them as they obsessed over the light and their busy song of hum and buzz was entrancing...that same strange heightened state of calm that didgeridoos can induce. They are frightening with their size and strength, bite and sting but if you are still and respectful, you can hear their song.

Lady Universe

2011-07-14T10:03:00.000-04:00

This was a fun project to work on.

Seabear's Hands Remember

2011-07-05T09:10:00.003-04:00

It took a while but I found a song that I can play (and sing...I have a very particular and limited voice). The rhythm of it and the chord changes make sense to me. It is a real accomplishment to be able to understand the structure of a song enough to play it through consistently...at least, consistently for me. It helps that it is one of my favorite songs too. I've decided to keep a main strum for when I'm not singing and just whatever I need to do quietly while I am singing...singing along to certain strum patterns has proven to be a real challenge.

Hands Remember by Seabear

C Em Am G (The chords repeat on each line)

Do you remember what things looked like when you were young?
The voice of an old friend or the notes to your first song

It's been awhile now since you asked me to be
Your cat, your dog, your owl, your bumblebee

Lately I've been feeling like the day is gonna come
You'll walk up to me and erase my memory
Can't wait to feel brand new
I can't wait to meet you again...friend

I think I must have known you in another life
I think our rocking chairs used to rock together all night

With pictures of owls all over the walls
Tiny ships in bottles they won't sail too far

Sun's Ladder for the Summer Solstice

2011-06-22T17:54:00.005-04:00

We slept through Midsummer's Eve...I think I slept almost thirteen hours...woke up on the day of the Solstice rested but really out of it. When my sister told me happy solstice...I didn't have a clue. I couldn't believe I'd forgotten it! We always leave out gifts for the Fae and they leave a little something for Riona to find in the morning. No matter though...how is one day different than any other when it comes to holidays right? So, we all made a Sun Loving Rainbow Harmony Ladder and we left out some milk and honey and trinkets for the Fae.
Riona and I picked out rainbow colored pony beads, jewelry bits, mostly gold beads but a few silver too of course, pasta wheels and little bells from a broken anklet. I cut three long pieces of hemp and tied them to a stick to tie to braid. That night we all sat together and as I braided it, we slid the beads down the strings. Once it was done, we put the feathers in. Riona picked where she wanted it to go and when I see it I think of the warmth of the sun and its radiating harmony.

Inspiration and instructions came from Joelle's Sacred Grove. Joelle's instructions:
"Make a Witch's Ladder (another fun family project) using three colored yarns (red, black, and white for the Triple Goddess) braided together to be three feet long. Add nine feathers all the same color for a specific charm (such as green for money) or various colors for a more diverse charm, tie ends and hang up. Colors are red for vitality, blue for peace and protection, yellow for alertness and cheer, green for prosperity, brown for stability, black for wisdom, black and white for balance, patterned for clairvoyance, and iridescent for insight."

Wildwood Twiggy Frames...Witch Burr in the Ripples

2011-05-28T16:20:00.003-04:00

Witch Burr in the Ripple
This is an original 5"x7" photograph of mine, hand framed with twigs and branches gathered from trees out in our woods.
The photo is printed on archival quality (will last over 100 years) Kodak Super Endura paper with a protective lustre coating.
This is a handmade frame that is sturdy and solid, pieced together with cotton calico, board backing and hemp twine...the photo is 5"x7" but the twiggy frame is larger than that.

Wildwood Twiggy Frames Tufted Titmouse on a Thundercloud Plum

2011-05-27T13:20:00.003-04:00

Tufted Titmouse on a Thundercloud Plum

This is an original 4"x6" photograph by me that is framed by twigs and branches gathered mostly from the tree in the photo.
The photo is printed on archival quality (will last over 100 years) Kodak Super Endura paper with a protective lustre coating.
This is a handmade frame that is sturdy and solid, pieced together with cotton calico, board backing and hemp twine...the photo is 5"x7" but the twiggy frame is larger than that. Check it out here at Etsy.

Wildwood Twiggy Frames...Witch Burr in the Creek

2011-05-26T18:38:00.003-04:00

Witch Burr in the Creek
This is an original 5"x7" photograph of mine, hand framed with twigs and branches gathered from trees out in our woods.
The photo is printed on archival quality (will last over 100 years) Kodak Super Endura paper with a protective lustre coating.
This is a handmade frame that is sturdy and solid, pieced together with cotton calico, board backing and hemp twine...the photo is 5"x7" but the twiggy frame is quite a bit larger than that.

Wildwood Twiggy Frames...Sunlight through Green

2011-05-24T19:21:00.002-04:00

Sunlight through Trees, Georgia
This is an original 5"x7" photograph by me that is framed by twigs gathered from trees out in our woods.
The photo is printed on archival quality (will last over 100 years) Kodak Super Endura paper with a protective lustre coating.
This is a handmade frame that is sturdy and solid, pieced together with cotton calico, board backing and hemp twine...the photo is 5"x7" but the twiggy frame is larger than that. Check it out on Etsy.

Wildwood Twiggy Frames...Winter Trees

2011-05-24T11:31:00.002-04:00

Winter Trees, Georgia
This is an original 5"x7" photograph by me that is framed by twigs gathered from trees out in our woods.
The photo is printed on archival quality (will last over 100 years) Kodak Super Endura paper with a protective lustre coating.
This is a handmade frame that is sturdy and solid, pieced together with cotton calico, board backing and hemp twine...the photo is 5"x7" but the twiggy frame is quite a bit larger than that. Go here to check it out on Etsy.

Wildwood Twiggy Frames...Red Cardinal

2011-05-23T14:39:00.004-04:00

There are two smaller type frames (4x6) in the shop of red cardinals in the winter time. The frames were made from twigs gathered from the oak in the photo. The frame above is here. And the one below is here.

Wildwood Twiggy Frames...Sycamore at McIntosh Reserve

2011-05-22T20:49:00.006-04:00

Sycamore Tree at McIntosh Reserve, Whitesburg GA
This is an original 5"x7" photograph by me that is framed by twigs gathered from trees out in our woods.
The photo is printed on archival quality (will last over 100 years) Kodak Super Endura paper with a protective lustre coating.
This is a handmade frame that is sturdy and solid, pieced together with cotton calico, board backing and hemp twine...the photo is 5"x7" but the twiggy frame is quite a bit larger than that.
If you are interesting in purchasing this piece, check out my Etsy listing.

The Reality of being a WAHM in the Summertime...

2011-05-20T16:34:00.003-04:00

Low Ground

2011-05-18T13:03:00.005-04:00

I am filled with an unnamed longing today, an existential sorrow that threatens to pull me into its undertow. I will let it roll. I will let it flow. Today, I will not be a vessel that holds water, I will be the pathway through which the waters flow...like the low ground in flood. Tomorrow, the waters will recede. They always do.

The Dreamer

2011-05-13T16:24:00.006-04:00

The dreamer turns...tears her own throat out...fingers blood tipped reaching in and farther in, she sends breath like fire out through her eyes. They drop sandy water like the tilting river, dreams boiling underskin. The dreamer doesn't speak anymore. Her fingers run over and over again across her larnyx and along the rings of her trachea, searching for a hidden treasure and hearing hoofbeats in the distance. She doesn't notice the river water...the silver fishes, little snakes, crawdads and tadpoles floating from the rent in her neck until one tickles her nose with his fin. She flips her tail and swims, silver scales flashing in the sunlight.

~LHeilman

horse

2011-05-13T14:50:00.002-04:00

~lheilman

Anxiety Disorder, OCD, Globus Hystericus or rather The Tale of the Little Green Snake

2011-04-28T09:48:00.005-04:00

These wild eyes don't belong to me. They are too blue, too hard. Some fey wildness has crept into my veins and my blood rolls like a drumbeat, the pounding rhythm of a deer in flight. My hair flies from me on the stormwind, torn from its roots and smelling like honeysuckle. When Eurus hid his scream in my chest, it sent my heart banging like a trapped bird against its cage of ribs and breath. But all is quiet...there is no sound...the words that are stuck in my throat coil like a little green snake, content to have sanctuary.
~LHeilman

~Sculpture by Polly Morgan

Bellydance and Cee-Lo

2011-04-26T10:49:00.005-04:00

I'm feeling silly and restless today so you'll have to excuse me as I post this most ridiculous yet happy video. Bellydance and Cee-Lo...yep, that's it. If you got the booty AND the potbelly then damn, you need to shake it right mamas? hee

Just a few work at home resources

2011-03-28T07:53:00.001-04:00

I love these sites for seeing what's out there in the work at home world...

WAHM.com
BlackKeyboard
WAH Adventures
Work at Home Mafia

EFT Tapping and a surprising emotion

2011-03-24T09:34:00.005-04:00

In this video from this post, he suggests you try a simpler type emotion for your first tapping exercise. I chose the one that is most persistent for me...that stressed out, sharp and angry feeling I get from doing chores all day when I would rather be doing something creative...it is particularly strong when it's towards the end of the day and I've done a thousand chores and I feel as though I'm being pulled in different directions.
I followed his video a couple of days ago and I noticed a difference that first evening (I had done the tapping in the morning) and it has sort of gone up and down but with steady improvement...that is, that stress feeling just doesn't seem as strong and sometimes doesn't even come (even when I'm trying to make Mark's sandwiches and start dinner while shooing the kittens off the counter, the dogs are barking, the bed needs to be made, the dishes need to be put away and Riona is yelling from across the house because she needs me to do something for her...oh sorry...breathe, breathe, breathe.)
I went through the process in his video again this morning and this time, when I did the Gamma Point part (an exercise within the tapping process to really focus your mind on that feeling so the tapping will work better)...I realized something. The root of my anger or the sister feeling of it is Guilt. Suddenly, I felt so sad, like I was a really bad person because I hated doing all those chores for my family. If I was a better person and really loved my family, wouldn't I enjoy doing all these things for them? It was a shocking feeling, totally unreasonable and pretty absurd. Nobody likes doing chores when they are tired at the end of the day so why would that mean I didn't love my family enough? But there it was, that feeling, even though I thought it was ridiculous. I cried a little from the pain I felt, allowing myself to feel it then I did enough rounds of Tapping to clear it out.
I feel lighter and relaxed...I am clearing out that negative energy...that "standing wave" in my nervous system that is causing so much stress. I can feel it.
This is the song I was listening to, it's just a nice meditation song and a good length of time.

EFT Tapping and me

2011-03-22T09:23:00.005-04:00

I stumbled across this video...

Something clicked for me with this guy (maybe it was the hair) and I just stopped what I was doing and followed his instructions on the video. I have never heard of EFT Tapping but the brain signals thing synchronizes so well with what I know about OCD and Anxiety (I have both) that it just makes sense.
My Dad once told me that when are born our brains are like a jungle, wild and random...as we grow and learn things...we build paths then roads then highways for our thoughts, habits, knowledge. The thing with OCD or Anxiety (and from what I'm learning about EFT...any emotion) is that these bumpy roads get all messed up and we lose control over our thoughts so that we get stuck in these ruts of worry, worry...obsess, obsess. When my OCD is strong...it has come and gone throughout my life...I do rituals to ease the anxiety because for some reason I really feel that if I don't those bad thoughts that I have may come true. It's horrible.
Anyway, EFT Tapping is supposed to reprogram the neurons, the thought process and get us out of those emotional ruts.
I have done this video once and the sense of peace I feel from it is pretty awesome. I actually do feel different, as though the emotion I chose to work on is either gone or lessened or just doesn't matter as much. The tapping totally fits into my own sense of rhythm too...let's just hope I don't get obsessive over it...ha!

I'm also loving her blog so far...Natalie Hill EFT Tapping Techniques

Spring Day and planting those little sprouts

2011-03-16T18:50:00.005-04:00

Those little sprouts are big enough to plant (although half of them didn't come up). We've been sick and today we felt good enough to get outside for a bit...such a lovely spring day.

The Graphics Fairy

2011-03-16T14:15:00.004-04:00

from The Graphics Fairy

What a fun site...wonderful (and free) graphics...I could spend hours here!

Wednesday Kirwan

2011-03-16T14:02:00.003-04:00

oh...I can't stand it...too cute...not only has she painted a banjo bunny but she also has a kid's book about a bad little dog...strikingly similar in behavior to a certain preschooler I know...

Spring Rain

2011-03-09T18:34:00.006-05:00

This heavy rain has brought
peace and fullness...
I feel sodden with it
like the wet earth.

Antonin Artaud

2011-03-08T10:42:00.002-05:00

Antonin Artaud...I've been fascinated by him since I was a teenager when I first heard the Bauhaus song about him. He did not separate dreams from reality and thought to do so was folly...he felt that suffering was essential to existence and longed to expose his audience to the harsh realities of life...to shatter their false comforts. He scoffed at the idea of utopia and turned instead towards harshness and suffering, an ecstatic loss of Self. He is everything that I am not, his world frightens me. He is my Shade. He was mad and he was wise. And he made random chickenesque noises just for the hell of it...I love this about him...I think this is going to be a theme for me.

From To Have Done With the Judgement of God by Antonin Artaud

"Man is sick because he is badly constructed.
We must make up our minds to strip him bare in order to scrape off that animalcule that itches him mortally,

god,
and with god
his organs.

For you can tie me up if you wish,
but there is nothing more useless than an organ.

When you will have made him a body without organs,
then you will have delivered him from all his automatic reactions
and restored him to his true freedom.
They you will teach him again to dance wrong side out
as in the frenzy of dance halls
and this wrong side out will be his real place."

It wasn't a small snake after all...

2011-03-08T09:47:00.003-05:00

It wasn't a small garden snake living in my throat after all and it probably isn't cancer or a lost maple nut goodie...this perpetual lump in my throat. My doctor calls it Globus Hystericus...yet another manifestation of my Anxiety and my old friend, OCD. I have pills and I have salt water to gargle but what work really needs to be done to understand this? Vishuddha, Konrad Wert, Antonin Artaud, Shadow Self, Shaman...birds upon birds upon birds...your messages are all around me. I can hear your voices but I cannot make out the words...an old drawing of mine...Snake Woman...an interpretation of the powerful and frightening Coatlicue.

Dreams, shadows, nightmares

2011-02-28T13:28:00.002-05:00

In my dreams, red stallions have fallen in love with me and I have run with them on four hooves through the wind. In my dreams I have flown with witches trailing rainbow silks behind us...I have fought and loved and cradled a goose name Walter in my arms. My dreams have been pure color, pure joy in movement and freedom and love. And yet, on the other side of this beauty is their brutal violence, the stories they have to tell about human cruelty and the letting of blood. Sometimes, I watch helpless as a great betrayal is played out before my eyes, a fence between me and the victim. Sometimes I am deep in the fray...either the victim or the monster.
Last night, a violent dream woke me at midnight and I couldn't go back to sleep and today I find myself wondering, is there something wrong with me, to have such dreams? to envision such brutality while I sleep? In this dream, I watched from a distance as a half man,half beast creature skinned a screaming woman's face off from the inside of her...by reaching through her head with his knives. They were on top of a hill...I watched in horror from below, a fair distance away. This is by no means, the worst of my nightmares. This one was rather simple in its terror and brutality.
I have read that nightmares are to be celebrated because they are the first step towards awareness and healing and I have read that dreams like this surface because we haven't embraced our own Shadow selves (Jung), but I've been having them all my life, right along with the good ones. For a few years, I did not dream at all...or rather I didn't remember my dreams and that was from an intentional closing off to them. but this past year I have opened up to them again...it has taken a whole year for my dreams to come back and while most of them are mundane, a few stand out in their brilliance.
I can make no sense of them and they exhaust me.

Nightmare Weaver by Nela Dunato

We wait, Silent

2011-02-28T13:24:00.002-05:00

Sharp Tongue by Nela Dunato

We are waiting for the storm to come, the cats and I. We sit by the window, our legs folded beneath us and watch as the trees wave the wind onward. The cats are always near...enchanted by my silence and the way my hair lifts even when there is no breeze to stir it. I shoo them away so that I can shift to the side. My feet have fallen asleep from sitting on them. A sumac tree that has grown too close to the house, grates against the siding like an old woman hacking to clear her throat. My own throat has closed down on all the words inside, like a dam that has grown over the years. I haven't spoken a word since last Tuesday. These words, they have piled up at the base of my throat and no matter how often I swallow or cough, they will not budge...not even one little word will loosen to allow the flow. So, I sit and wait for the storm to come and the cats gather around me in silence. We wait and we do not speak.
~L. Heilman

Shadowscapes, Two Queens

2011-02-18T14:25:00.004-05:00

Queen of Cups and Queen of Wands

Making homemade laundry detergent today

2011-02-18T14:16:00.005-05:00

I've gotten slack about making our own laundry detergent but I need to get back into the routine. I have to say the Fels Naptha is easier to slice and break up when its dry though. I'd forgotten how lovely the house smells when you cook soap on the stove!

Spring Fun-Seed project

2011-02-18T13:49:00.008-05:00

We've done this before and failed. This time, we used the Jiffy Seed Starter Kit ($4 at the Shop-O-Rama) and picked out some seed packets to go with it.

You just pour a bunch of water in the greenhouse...
pull the netting back once the peat pots have magically grown and plant the seeds.
Riona had fun cutting out the pictures of the herbs and putting them on clothespins to mark which herb was what.

We put the little greenhouse near a window that gets soft light but dang, if the cats didn't come for it as soon as I set it there!

Tufted Titmouse on a Thundercloud Plum

2011-02-11T19:05:00.007-05:00

This is an original 5"x7" photograph by me that is framed by twigs gathered from the Thundercloud Plum tree that the Titmouse is perched in. The photo is printed on archival quality Kodak Super Endura paper with a protective lustre coating. Although some of the twigs are delicate, overall the frame is sturdy and solid, pieced together with cotton calico, board backing and hemp twine.

Clawhammer Banjo with the light coming through

2011-02-11T08:43:00.002-05:00

Copyright Laura Heilman 2011

Twiggy Frames, Wildwood Craftings

2011-02-09T13:15:00.005-05:00

Not only do I get to photograph birds but now I can spend hours wandering the woods for cuttings. This project has brought me so much pleasure.
These are my first two...I'm pleased with how they turned out. There were a few issues but now I know what I want to do differently on the next ones. I can't decide whether to sell them at a fair price or just put them on the walls here at home. I'm excited about working on the next ones and getting an inventory up to sell.

Bottle Trees

2011-02-07T19:30:00.002-05:00

I love these...first saw something like it in Daughters of the Dust but it's been a while since I've seen that movie and now I can't remember if that tree was one for sure. The image above, a tree in rural Mississippi is from Felder's site on bottle trees.
They're so pretty and magical, I was thinking about starting one out in the yard.

Bottle Tree by Stephanie Dwyer

From artist Stephanie Dwyer's site, Miss Metal Design.
"The bottle tree tradition rooted itself in the South in the 1700s, arriving from Africa and flourishing in the fertile ground of the Mississippi Delta even today. Placing colorful bottles on the ends of broken limbs is said to keep evil spirits (or maybe just nosy neighbors) away from the home. As the story goes, the sun's glimmer through the glass mesmerizes the spirits and traps them in the bottles."

Record bowls

2011-02-06T19:05:00.000-05:00

Such a cool craft. Here's a good tutorial from Prudent Baby. One of these days, I really make one of these...maybe from one of Mama's old Captain and Tennille albums...

Image from Prudent Baby

Brown Thrasher

2011-01-13T18:51:00.003-05:00

Brown Thrasher, Toxostoma Rufum

More Evidence of my Somewhat Minor Bird Obsession

2011-01-13T18:08:00.008-05:00

Tufted Titmouse, Baeolophus Bicolor There was a large group of these cuties in the front yard and most of them didn't care that I was eavesdropping on them...except for one who was so worked up about me being there...she must have fussed at me for five minutes before finally settling down to eat.

Northern Cardinal, Cardinalis Cardinalis. These guys practically fly up and ask me to take their photo...you can seem trying different angles here to find the best one.

A Walk in the Icey Woods

2011-01-13T17:57:00.004-05:00

The ice never really melted today and we are still unable to get a car up the hill...living in a hollow in the woods does have its drawbacks I suppose...but really, how often does it ice up for a whole week in the deep south? Oddly enough it didn't seem as cold as yesterday and our walk in the woods was rather delightful.
I won't mention the rise in bitchiness and cabin fever that we are all experiencing...in fact, there is some in-fighting going on right now...but getting outside was most definitely a breath of fresh air.

Whenever I am overcome by the beauty of it all, I am compelled to flop down rather indelicately and just soak it all in...today was no different.

30 Minutes on the Ice

2011-01-12T13:10:00.003-05:00

...cause that's about all that my whiny cold natured self can handle.

Winter bird meditation and dreams of springtime dancing

2011-01-11T20:35:00.006-05:00

I am enchanted by the multitudes of hopping, burrowing, hard working birds in the woods around the house...I can just sit quietly and watch them, my mind still and smooth...taken by their ceaseless activity. I have tried unsuccessfully to meditate to stillness yet it is scenes like this that allow my mind to still...that and the rolling movements of my body in dance...now I am dreaming of springtime drum circles...

Little Bird

2011-01-11T20:27:00.005-05:00

Little bird, little bird hopping to and fro on the starry icesheet turning sunwise...
the sky is a silver veil shimmering crystal chandelier, reflecting the sheen of your wings.
You hold the dreaming world in your frosted feathers,
its song buried deep in your swelling chest...
waiting for the thaw...
waiting for nothing less than the heated embrace of the rising sun...

Preacher Man

2010-11-23T09:25:00.003-05:00

Woke up with a preacher man's voice in my head...telling my sins and the sins of others, for dancing on the borders of things, for living our two natured selves...the wild folk and the witches, creatures of the wind and fire and water, living freely in the earth. His voice was gentle and matter of fact. He was a kind man.
This song came to mind.

A good exercise for strumming the guitar

2010-11-01T12:45:00.004-04:00

Along with learning bass runs and fingerpicking I am practicing strumming patterns and as always chord changes. Timely chord changes, I have a feeling, will be a lifelong pursuit. I found this lesson over the weekend on Youtube by Rockongoodpeople and it's a good one. You run through four chords that are similar in that two fingers stay on the same strings the whole time (makes for a very sore pinky finger though, I must say) and the other fingers tootle around through the chords. The change to Dsus4 is difficult for me but I have finally been able to lift my fingers up together and mash them down simultaneously...well sort of...but I'm getting there I think. Check out David's video lesson, it's a good one and below is my little video practicing it with some of my own strumming mixed in. I'm getting a little better at strumming without a pick but I keep hitting my guitar, the poor dear.

Pomegranates and a homey kind of Halloween

2010-10-31T14:51:00.009-04:00

Persephone was tempted by the jewel like seeds of the pomegranate and I can see why. Its seeds cluster inside like crystals growing deep in the earth and they sparkle in the sunlight. The pomegranate is a study in opposites...its seeds are juicy with a crunchy bit in the middle...sweet with a hint of bitterness. A lovely fruit to have on Samhain along with curry and ginger chicken in the slow cooker and a candle burning in honor of our loved ones who have passed onto the Summerland.

I don't really have a good way to seed pomegranates but I do know that you cut the top off, score the sides a little then pop the sections out...I figure it's every man for his own at that point and you just get the darn seeds out whichever way works.

Mark is practicing Cripple Creek in the background and Riona is marauding around, dropping sucked on pips wherever she goes. Oh and I don't really see the point of the water in the bowl...the pom membranes are supposed to float to the top or something but I'm not really good at following instructions when it comes to food so whatever.

Happy Halloween!

2010-10-31T14:40:00.000-04:00

Where to now...my guitar journey

2010-10-21T10:24:00.006-04:00

I had gotten to where I could strum a nice pattern in a steady way and change chords somewhat smoothly so next I wanted to sing a little. Now, I've read enough forum posts to know that singing and strumming together is something that takes practice and time to achieve because your strumming hand always throws in the flag and goes along with your voice. I knew that would take time and practice but what I didn't realize was that either I strum very loudly (or a dreadnought is a REALLY loud guitar) or I have an unusually quiet voice. Either way, I couldn't hear myself and that sucked.
Keep in mind, my personal goal with the guitar is to write and sing my own folksy songs and someday play along in old time jams, particularly with my husband and his banjo.
Ok, so what now? Give up strumming and practice fingerpicking? Trade my pretty Hummingbird in for a folk guitar? Learn how to strum with just my fingers?
Um yeah. So that's where I'm at. All those things except for maybe the trading in of the Hummingbird.
A very talented friend of mine, Stuart Lee of Gathering Nada met me at my sister's house to show me and my nephew a few things. He very kindly let me play his Seagull S6+, a cedar topped folk guitar and it was really very awesome.
The guitar's smaller size fits better in my lap, its sound was rich and mellow and the fingerboard is wider allowing for more room to pluck strings if I choose. I much preferred it to my guitar but I'm not ready to say goodbye to her just yet or even ever.
Right now, I'm doing the "Alternating Bass" or Fingerpicking lessons from this translated site, Guitar Nick and I love it. I just do exercises when I have the time. I've given up on learning songs just yet.
Also, I'm practicing strumming with my fingers and thumb...it has a much more mellow, soothing sound which is what I really love. Strumming without a pick was almost like starting all over. I am awkward and slow and inconsistent again.
Changing directions is hard but it's all part of the journey right?

All photos taken by my lovely sister, Suzanne Hartman

What my sister wrote...

2010-10-01T10:40:00.001-04:00

the death River did not want us again sister. maybe it was the calling of another life time ago
but not on Wednesday with the cool air and autumn winds.
the River only wanted to give us strength to live this life in Peace and to go home to see our families.
the rat man and the the drunken old man did come to end our lives but we won regardless of their evil.
we did good.
never again will i be unaware of another's malice or intentions. regardless of their casual smiles.
with our friend's dreams of swimming in the river looking for us and the purple scarf turning black on the hands of time...is a scary confirmation...but in her dream we called to her and said, 'look again, it is purple'.
so we survived.
and i'm calling the police...
go with your instincts. good Lord never stray from your inner voice because it can save your life.
they did not harm us because we showed no fear...even when they said they were not bad and wanted to know what the Death card meant...
even though they stunk of alcohol and sat too close...
next time we are bringing dogs and baseball bats

The River is a strange place

2010-10-01T09:52:00.008-04:00

The River is a strange place, full of pulling and tugging and longing and dancing sunlight. It can clean your soul, leave you purified after you toss your pain into its sweet, green current. You can have picnics by the River, festivals and dalliances. I love the River. Haved loved it all my life, felt its green heart song in my own flowing heart and yet there is a darkness there too. Bodies get thrown into the River by murderers, women walk into them with rocks in their pockets to take their souls for a ride down the current.My sister and I went out to the River on Wednesday. We brought chai, pumpkin muffins, an old quilt and our best woven shawls to enjoy the cool Autumn air in. We brought the camera to take photos of our little picnic together.
It was a bright sparkling day for letting go of old pain, for embracing new beginnings and just enjoying each other's company. We were laying out the Faerie cards for each other when two men came onto the overlook deck, said good afternoon Ladies, introduced themselves and asked how we were. I could smell that sweet smell of alcoholism on them...it is a distinctive smell...sweetness overlaying a rancid base, like rotting apples left under the tree. The ratfaced man sat down next to me, told me he was not a bad man and asked boldly for a reading. I was polite. I rode that fence with a watchful eye and violence already building up in my chest for a fight. I did a reading for him and his toothless uncle who was afraid of us and the cards we laid out. When Ratface asked for another, I said one more and that's it. Who knows what kind of bullshit I told him but I held my pink steel water bottle like a weapon...what's that Ani de Franco line...any tool is a weapon if you hold it right? and tapped it against the wood of the deck. My sister took out her phone and said we were meeting our Dad here soon with the kids. He got the hint as I looked directly in his eyes but he looked back and asked to see the Death card.
The Death Card. So I showed it to him. If he wanted to see his own Death by a Witch's hands then so be it. Ha...I'd like to think so...and maybe I could but the truth is, I know how strong a man can be when he doesn't want to let you go.
His arms turn into a steel cage.
But these men...they left.
I think there may have been too many factors working against them.
We would have fought but would that River have taken us anyway and by then would we have been glad for the solace of its cool and flowing current?
It's a question that doesn't bare asking and our intuition concerning these men's malicious intent will never tolerate doubt for we felt the sparkling light around us, the Listeners and The Mother and when I did a reading later that night, it was Death and The Mother shielding us from them. Our other sister felt a sense of alarm all day and a strong pull from the ancestors. And our friend had a dream about us.

I had a dream about the two of you last night. I dreamt I was swimming in a river and there were rocks and snakes. The river flowed into a house where there was a clock hanging on the wall and there was a purple scarf around it. When I touched the clock, I thought the scarf was black and it made me sad...but I heard the voice of both of you and you said collectively it was purple and not black and that it meant I should show my feelings. It was so real.

These things leave no room for doubt that we survived something bad.

It is good to be a strong and bold witch and look a ratfaced man in the eye and watch him leave with his uncle but it is better to be alive and run your hand along the ginger hairs of your beloved's arm and kiss the soft cheek of your daughter as she sleeps.

Next time we will bring our dogs and a rifle and our other damn sister who had to go to a doctor's appointment that day. Because I sure as hell ain't going to stop going to the River.

Red tailed hawks and birds, birds, birds

2010-09-22T12:12:00.005-04:00

Image Copyright Neil Rizos

I went outside today to get a break from my persistent non-productive online workday. Hiding under my big blue table umbrella in the front yard, I just vegged out, watching the bees and the dragonflies zooming around at the edge of the woods and listening to some smallish creature crunching around in the brush. It's hot and dry and the leaves are turning yellow either from the coming of fall or the total lack of rain. Today is the Fall equinox but it's still 90 degrees...autumn in the south comes late.

Directly above me, I heard the cry of a juvenile red tailed hawk. We have more hawks on our side of the land than crows...my sister calls her place Crow Hill, she has so many down that way. The two bird clans are not friendly, as just about anyone out in the country knows. I've seen and heard some brutal tree top and aerial fights out this way.I've been getting so many bird signs and bird medicine lately that it is almost too much to process and here today was a really lovely one. I peaked out from my umbrella to watch two young hawks playing on the wind as a larger hawk circled nearby, the red of her tail and the white of her under wings flashing in the sunlight.
They swooped and dived and cried out their freedom ringing hawk screams. I watched in delight as they played and swooped across the big blue sky. The larger hawk soared off very in a very dignified manner to the northwest, leaving the younger ones to continue their raucous play as they made their way through the sky. One in particular was having a great time tucking his wings to dive then swooping back up to glide on the high wind currents.

What a lovely sight to see on this Autumn Equinox.

Shadowscapes Tarot

2010-09-22T08:27:00.007-04:00

I am enchanted by this tarot deck, Shadowscapes Tarot by Stephanie Pui-Mun Law and can't wait to get my grubby little hands on it. I feel so much peace and flow of power when I look at these images.
The wands suit, with the foxes and autumn colors speak to my Leo soul...The Queen of Wands...
as does the beauty and grace of the Strength card...
The artist even includes a Happy Squirrel card..."the cards are vague and mysterious". Hee. Click here for Touchstone's explanation of the Happy Squirrel phenomenon.
I am particularly intrigued by her interpretation of the Hermit, one of my favorite cards...
I see the leaning, reaching, questing power of the Hermit here...although he is perched in a high and desolate place, a place of solitude, he is holding that lantern out and his eyes are seeing far.
Also, the Death card, one of the hardest to read at times...
The Phoenix...brilliant! Death and rebirth...we let go so that we can be reborn. The Death card encompasses all of that but sometimes, it is hard to feel the power of the Phoenix when you see that scary white horse and the death's head on the card. Don't be fooled by her optimistic view of some of the cards though because she doesn't try to soften up the suit of Swords at all and that I suppose, is a necessary thing. Those swords are a tough suit. The Three of Swords is never a welcome card in my readings. I don't care how you spin it.
The greens and browns of the Pentacles...
and the mermaids of the Cups...this one is just darn pretty...

Some children's books I wanna get

2010-09-22T07:58:00.004-04:00

How Rocket Learned to Read by Tad Hills
Click here to watch Random Books video on this sweet little book about Rocket.

Ladybug Girl by David Somar and Jacky Davis...here is Mother Reader's review post.

Fluffy and Baron by Laura Rankin
Ok, this dog looks a lot like my very own Biscuit and it just about as sweet as sweet can be.

All the Seasons of the Year by Deborah Lee Rose and Kay Chorao
I freak out over any books that deal with the changing of the seasons and this one is particularly sweet as the mama cat tells her baby cat how much she loves her through each turn of the wheel. Click here for the book at Amazon.

Rabbit Moon A book of holidays and celebrations by Patricia Hubbell and Wendy Watson
I found this book by accident at the library years ago and just need to get it because I think about it all the time...I'm not obsessed with rabbits and the moon or anything and certainly not the changing of the seasons.

Paper beads...cheap, easy and pretty...just my style

2010-09-13T12:23:00.006-04:00

My sister was telling me the other day about paper crafts and paper beads and it piqued my interest. Paper bead making was popular during the Victorian era and again during the depression era...at least that's what I've read online. Do you think their popularity has anything to do with hard economic times?
Sounds pretty fun to me and I bet my girl would have fun making them too. I'm ready to give it a go...particularly the rolling up kind here at Moms Wear Your Tees and Creative Jewish Mom but I do like the newspaper mash up ones over at A Storybook Life (from artist BeadHelly). The holidays are gonna be tight this year...what's new...I need to start preparing now for some crafty gift ideas for family and friends and paper bead crafts might just be the thing.

Image from Creative Jewish Mom

Why Mama Shouldn't Mow the Lawn

2010-09-10T13:23:00.002-04:00

You know, there are just more reasons than you could shake a stick at as to why I shouldn't mow the lawn but the main one is that I just suck at things like this. Yeah, I tried to make the lawnmower my bitch but it just konked out on me before I even got ten feet mowed...what am I supposed to do with that? You can't kick an opponent when it's down right?I didn't even get the path mowed which really is all I wanted to do.At some point, I brushed my hand against a leaf on the plum tree...who would have thought that would have been such a bad idea? I suppose it is if there is a little spiky critter like this one hiding underneath it. The back of my hand is still stinging and I barely touched it. Whine, whine, whine...I know, but dang!

Summer Baby, Summer Girl

2010-08-05T13:42:00.001-04:00

What is this thing...to be connected blood and bone and soul to another? Her little hands that used to open and close inside of me and now I am supposed to shoot her off from me like an arrow into the world? My heart broke, my heart soared when I held her, a newborn in my arms, rooting for milk, for comfort from my breast and I realized that she truly was no longer inside my womb and she truly was of this world now, not just mine. The tears fell like rain in a heavy summer storm. My summer baby. And now, this fun thing, this wonderful transistion to pre school...something we are both ready for yet here I sit, the heavy summer rain on my cheeks again and my heart so full of love and a strange natural ache. Summer sun, pull me close.

Woman and Guitar: Part 2, Owie fingers and a Buzzing G Chord

2010-07-14T13:19:00.011-04:00

A while back I posted a video of me 'playing' the guitar here, that is practicing my chords with a general sort of strum pattern, something I've made up or found online somewhere. Well, now I'm onto another set of chords, F7 (only because I can't do a real F yet), C and G with another sort of sweet strum pattern. What I'm doing is so very simple and yet it has taken so much practice for me just to get here...that's how it goes though when you are learning something new. I can't wait to learn how songs are constructed...and I'll be glad to have a teacher at some point. I am still sort of amazed at how much I love it, even when it gets frustrating and my fingerpads are so sore it is hard to type. I must have baby soft skin because I thought they had already callused up. Apparently not. And why is my guitar buzzing so much on that G chord...maybe I'm not firm enough. Gentle but firm...that's what Mama always said about training horses. Gentle but firm. Yep. Oh and relaxed too. Probably not a good idea to have a death grip on the pick or the guitar neck. Well, I'm so relaxed now, sometimes I drop the darn thing ;)

My Guitar Heroines and Heroes

2010-07-12T08:29:00.006-04:00

These people sort of sum it up for me about playing guitar. I have three things in mind, three passions...old time music, folk strumming type music and fingerstyle. I hope to someday be able to put my poems to music. What would that feel like? To sing my words out into the world with melody and rhythm.

Alela Diane
Alela's music is soul music to me. Fingerstyle is a fantasy right now but I am practicing and who knows, maybe I'll be able to do it someday. It's her lyrics along with those melodies that get me.

Raina Rose
It's that earthy sort of pouring out of soul that appeals to me here. She is working that guitar and she moves along to the rhythm as though it is pouring out of her and into the guitar. I love that.

Riley Puckett
Ah, Riley. Why do I always get crushed out on old dead guys? I don't know if you are really a role model yet because I don't know enough about old timey guitar playing but you are certainly my hero and you crack me up.

Trying to make cat litter a little more green and frugal

2010-07-02T07:40:00.000-04:00

Mix cracked corn in with your scoopable to save money, make it last longer.

Kitty litter is a big deal at our house. We have eight of the little furballs and they can really tear up a fresh litterbox. Every week, we bought a box of the cheapest scoopable you could find. I hate that stuff. It burns your eyes, supports strip mining and could have adverse effects on kitty health. The thing is, we can't afford the good stuff so I'm always on the look out for a frugal trick. Then I came across a forum where some people from catteries mentioned using chicken feed, the crumble kind. Others mixed chicken feed with cracked corn...the corn is supposed to absorb odors. Let me just say that ultimately, it did not work. The cats hated the chicken feed and it stunk pretty bad after a week. Maybe if we had a normal amount of cats living with us? I don't know, but I will say that now I mix the cracked corn with the cheap scoopable. We use less scoopable, save a little money and it does help with the odors.

Music time for kiddos

2010-06-28T19:07:00.002-04:00

Riona and her cousin Crevan whooping it up at music time.

Woman and Guitar: Learning, learning, learning

2010-06-27T08:11:00.004-04:00

I play different chords then sort of feel how they'd like to sound together with a simple strum pattern. I don't know how to put a song together yet but I love putting different chord combos together with different strums. I'm slow and I make tons of mistakes and I have so much to learn but it really is satisfying. Mark recorded me sitting on the edge of the bed while I was practicing. I was shy at first and didn't want to be recorded but it does help to see the videos later. Hopefully, I will sound better the next time he records me!

She's a natural

2010-06-26T19:49:00.005-04:00

If you hadn't noticed, we are all about the music around here lately. It's always been an integral part of our family with hand drumming, belly dancing and all those fun shakers but now we've sort of moved on to the next level, I reckon...stringed instruments...gasp. Riona has been enjoying it a lot and I'm excited about the ukulele we bought her for her birthday. That darn thing is adorable.

The Banjo, Clawhammer that is

2010-06-24T14:00:00.000-04:00

Mark has been tearing through songs, practicing whenever he has a free moment which honestly, isn't all that much around here since he's been taking such good care of us. Not surprisingly, he seems to have a knack for playing the banjo. He has a sort of natural mathematical way of picking out these damn songs...so of course I am super proud of him and at the same time envious as I struggle through my strum patterns and chords on the Hummingbird. Hearing these beloved old songs played in the house has been just delightful and I am, as ever smitten by the beauty of the clawhammer banjo. This is a video of him practicing The Cuckoo, one of my most favorite songs. I do love sawmill tuning...that high and lonesome sound...
Oh and check out that derby hat...was one of my hats from my horse showing days...isn't it fantastic?

My lovely desk...

2010-06-23T21:03:00.001-04:00

was taken over by hooligans...

This is a 1920's art deco vanity that works so well as a desk and those lamps are treasures from the 50's that Mama gave me.

Grateful

2010-06-23T10:17:00.002-04:00

What a ride this has been...I put my back out then a week later I couldn't walk. Now, after six weeks of chiropractic care, Mama's cane, a back brace and handfuls of pain pills, I am doing pretty good although I'm still sore by the end of the day.
Mark busted ass making sure everyone was cared for and fed and the house kept up. He took excellent care of me...even putting the bagels and cream cheese on the top shelf of the refrigerator before he went to work in the morning...that's love. It's mind blowing how even the simplest things become excruciatingly painful when your back goes all wonky.
My family pitched in to help me get to my appointments and to watch Riona so I could rest. Pretty damn grateful for all that.

Dog and lamb

2010-06-20T19:54:00.000-04:00

I found this on a thrifty-fun excursion with the Ladies and have just now stopped tearing up every time I look at it. A lamb in the snow. A dog baying her heart out to call her master and save it. I guess I've kinda felt like that lamb a little lately and I sure am glad to have someone around to save my ass.

Blue Chombi and the Refrigerator

2010-06-17T20:00:00.000-04:00

He really liked it in there. He stayed in there for about two weeks. Not surprising seeing as how we have Fat Tire and that's his favorite beer and all. I love Blue Chombi.

Crafty: Act out your story

2010-05-30T20:20:00.009-04:00

Storytime at night ranges anywhere from reading an armful of books, telling made up stories, singing old songs or playing games on the iPod. One night I told her a rambling story about a girl with long curly hair that went for a walk in a pasture with her kite. A herd of red cows were at the top of the hill and when they came down to visit her they all had a picnic together under a big oak tree. My stories are hardly ever dramatic...except for the odd thunderstorm here and there. When she woke up the next day she asked about the red cows and the kite so we gathered up the necessary crafty items and decided to make the characters in the story so we could act it out.
We used:
Poster board
Ink pens
Markers
Watercolors (watercolors, brush, water)
Scissors
Glue
Popsicle sticks
Lace or ribbons or whatever for the tail of the kite

We drew up the characters and items of our story on poster board with ink pens then cut them out. Our story had cows, a little girl, a kite, a picnic blanket and food and drinks. Hey...we should have done a big tree too! Riona painted and markered them how she wanted then we glued the characters to the popsicle sticks. The kite has lace for a tail.
I keep all the pieces in a folder and we pull them out to act out the story. It's fun.

Mama's Hummingbird

2010-05-24T20:02:00.001-04:00

Mark bought me a used Epiphone Hummingbird back in April...I was drooling over how pretty it was and what a good deal it was and he just bought it for me. It means a lot because I've had a secret folk singer/guitar player fantasy for years but never really let myself dream that little dream, you know? I'm working on learning how to play...it will be a long journey you can be sure but I'm committed, sore fingers and all.

Is Old Time Music the New Punk?

2010-04-20T08:30:00.008-04:00

I read somewhere that old timey music is the new punk and it cracked me up but there may be some truth to it. Just like the revolutionaries of the 60's turned to their roots to fuel their music, it seems that now punk has devolved into skinny jeans and designer mohawks, the revolutionaries are facing their past once again. Fine with me, I've always had a thing for punk boys. That's why I married one. And I've always had a thing for old timey music and mountain history...so why not?
There's been a lot of existential talk around here about dreams and destiny pathways, at least on my part but some of it must have sunk into my hard working man's head because a few weeks back he decided that he wanted to learn how to play the banjo. I've been struggling through learning my chords on the guitar for about the same time and he knew, with his big ol' sausage fingers that the guitar just wasn't for him. The banjo, he said out of the blue, The Clawhammer Banjo and a softness came into his eyes, as though he could see himself playing that gorgeous instrument already, it's drumhead thumping along with the beat of his heart and the twang of the strings.
The maple beauty came in the mail last week, resting after its long journey behind the row of family mailboxes at the end of our half mile wooded drive.
I couldn't resist opening it when Riona and I got back to the house. And as soon as my hand brushed across the strings, it sang hello to me, a mellow, confident sound and I could hear the green song of the woods in its tone. My three year old was calling me for the hundredth time to help her take a dress on or off a barbie but for that moment all I heard was the sweet and mellow tone of an instrument that centuries of people have played and loved and I wondered if they felt that same rising inside them when their fingers first brushed the strings as I did?

I would have preferred to place an old time classic here of some kind or another but this song gives me the chills every time I hear it. Just straight banjo and a longing to take off into the woods with only my dogs and a can of beans...and maybe a banjo player.

Hesitation Blues

2010-04-09T17:07:00.004-04:00

I keep finding songs that trace back to Charlie Poole then WC Handy. Maybe me and Charlie were drinking buddies in one of my past lives. I found this song, Hesitation Blues in the Gordon Collection at the American Folklife Center sung by Bascom Lamar Lunsford. Charlie's version is different of course seeing as how there are a thousand versions of this song originally written by Smyth, Middleton and Gillham in the early 20th century. I dig this guy's version too.

I sing Lunsford's version here just kinda how I want to...for good or bad, here it is.

Glory be...

2010-04-09T16:01:00.003-04:00

...the dogwoods are in bloom. It is a snowy dogwood paradise in the woods. White everywhere, just lovely. This is the view of the backwoods from my desk at home. I love this tree. It lives next to a triple oak and shields many of our beloved animals' graves.

Inadvertant candy and a low pain threshold

2010-04-07T18:18:00.004-04:00

I am genetically incapable of reading instructions and now, it turns out I am physically incapable of typing with my left index finger. We had intentions of making maple caramel syrup just for kicks but we ended up making rock hard brown sugary candy. I guess pulling up the recipe online, getting bored and impatient then traipsing off to wing it doesn't always produce gourmet results.
Nevertheless, spoon candy lollipops are delicious and if I hadn't geeked out and put my finger into Satan's Lava, it would have been a totally fun experience. Either this is a seriously brutal burn or I have a low pain threshold. No matter, I finally get to use that bag of grits in the freezer for medical purposes.

Heartbroken, the West Virginia mine disaster

2010-04-06T09:18:00.005-04:00

A massive explosion from a buildup of methane gas in a West Virginia mine killed 25 people last night...possibly more. Here is the story on NPR. They are searching for the remaining 4. I remember when I read the news of the Sago Mine Disaster of 2006. I was pregnant with Riona and it felt like I cried for a week straight over it. I am just as heartbroken today over this disaster and with love and respect I am posting something I wrote back in 2006 after hearing Jean Ritchie's song West Virginia Mine Disaster.

Her voice, high and sweet (The Sago Mine Disaster)

If I close my eyes to the darkness, I can hear her voice, high and sweet, like the birds that sing outside our bedroom window in the morning. If I think of home, the kitchen I left just this morning, smelling of syrup and coffee...I can hear her voice,high and sweet-full of love for me here in the darkness. Holding the hand of the man next to me, roughened and hard like mine, I cannot see his face...a small blessing. Somewhere behind me, there is the sound of crying, small and quiet like a tired child nearly asleep, but all I can really hear is her voice, high and sweet, singing for me as she made our breakfast this morning, sighing as she kissed me goodbye.

Granny decorating

2010-04-05T06:12:00.000-04:00

For anyone who doubts my granny decorating taste, this ought to do the trick. I have been accused (and rightfully so) of having granny taste, particularly when it comes to bathing suits and purses so I suppose it isn't too surprising that it translates to my house as well.

Agnes next to a 1940 Philco Radio that still works but can't get reception out here in the woods. Mama and I found it at an estate auction years ago when I was just a young whipper snapper.

I am so in love with this dining room set. Found it at a thrift store for a grand total of $80. Did I say that I'm in love with it? Because I am. I'm in love with it. Someday I'll find two more chairs to go with it.

And finally, the painting...well, the print I scored at the Goodwill for $10. When I saw it there shoved in the corner just waiting for someone to notice it, my old granny heart was thrilled by the sheer size of it, the dark wooden frame, the harvest scene printed on 70's poster board. Not even before I had this treasure safely stuffed in my cart, an old lady came up to admire it. Then another. I placed my hand proprietarily on the frame and admired it along with them. As Riona and I walked the aisles, two more grey haired vixens asked me about it and another followed behind us a little too closely. I'm glad Riona was there with me, otherwise they surely would have taken me down for it. No matter, it is safe at home with us now.

Lovely, lovely Easter

2010-04-02T06:31:00.005-04:00

I've been depressed lately, sort of lost feeling and casting about and having anxiety attacks at the Shop O' Rama just because someone pushes their cart too close to mine. In grand Leo fashion, I hemmed and hawed at length about my emotional capability of being able to shop for the Easter goodies and even though Mark had so thoughtfully offered, I really wanted to do it myself. So, I decided to go early in the morning and instantly I was mesmerized by all the pastel colors, the shelves and shelves of delightful plastic eggs and chocolate bunnies. You know, Easter was my favorite holiday as a kid. Everything about Easter is visually pleasing...the smoothness of the eggs, the bright colors in the glass that turn to a soft pastel on the shell...pile upon pile of individually foil wrapped candy, rabbit ears in easter grass...lovely, lovely Easter.

Audra...is that your tray? Mama found it in the basement the other day and thought it was mine...I can't remember. Anyway, if it's yours, you'll have to come out and visit to get it!

Clothesline of Art

2010-03-31T11:02:00.001-04:00

I got this idea from Aunt Debbie. She has a line of her kids' art strung up by the kitchen. It's a lot of fun to put up new art by Riona. Looking at it makes me happy while I'm washing dishes. Yep, washing dishes. The dishwasher is a disgusting beast and doesn't work correctly so I've been handwashing for the better part of a year now. And you know what? I'm ok with it...I think I may even like it better. I'm more of a maintenance cleaner anyway so I'd rather do the dishes here and there throughout the day than do the big load/unload of the dishwasher. Anyway, my girl has some mad artistic skills, particularly with glitter don't you think?

The Coyote Den

2010-03-30T08:59:00.003-04:00

It's always there isn't it...this darkness? You can stave it off with trips to the thrift store or obsessive tarot readings or your kid's laughter or a sunny day or visiting the river or a walk in the woods and you're happy, you really are then holy shit, here comes the darkness.

The Coyote Den
I went to the woods to find peace
To head off the melancholy tap tapping at my windowsill
I should have known by the turn of the branches,
The scrape of the muscadine vine across my neck
What was waiting for me there.
But I was mesmerized by the shining silver trunks,
By the patchwork loam sewn together with greenbriar vines,
dotted with sweetgum balls.
I should have heard the train roar sound of darkness
Rushing towards me, like black smoke from an autumn trash burn,
But instead I knelt down to look more closely at an old coyote den
Four smaller tunnels leading in four directions,
all contained inside one larger dip in the earth.
I should have prepared for what was coming
For the sudden push and rumble as the darkness caught me in a tailspin
My heart, which had shone so brightly and in so many directions
Was filled with the night and I tumbled down into the den.
Into the Dark.

My work at home job, Lionbridge Technologies

2010-03-28T07:35:00.002-04:00

When I resigned my position at the library a few weeks before Riona was born I was able to just be a stay at home mom for over a year then well, things went a little wonky in my husband's field and I started casting about for work to do at home. I've done various work but there are two companies that I recommend for working from home...Demand Studios and Lionbridge Technologies. I enjoyed writing and title proofing for Demand but when I took the Lionbridge job there was just no more room for any other work.
I know how hard it is to wade through all the work at home bullshit postings, but these are two companies worth checking out.

Didn't he ramble...

2010-03-27T09:42:00.014-04:00

I'm trying to learn the words to this song , He Rambled by wild man Charlie Poole and His North Carolina Ramblers (my favorite version) from 1929, but my girl never stops talking long enough to get through the first verse so all I have in my head is the chorus...

And didn't he ramble...ramble
He rambled all around, in and out of town,
Oh, didn't he ramble...ramble,
He rambled till the butchers cut him down

So, I just play it and hope that the words will be planted into my consciousness like those helicopter seeds that spin down to the ground. Most likely not though since my memory is less than stellar.
This song has seen many variations, rewritten (probably by Will Handy) from The Darby Ram about a rapacious sheep into a song about a rapacious man, called Didn't He Ramble. Brass bands used to play it for wakes and funerals..."his head was in the market, his feet were in the street, all the folks that passin' by said: look at that market meat."
Some other versions (can't seem to get enough of this song):
Fiddlin John Carson and His Virginia Ramblers
Louis Armstrong

river's green heart

2010-03-26T08:29:00.004-04:00

the river calls to me, its
sweetwater like sugar in the bowl
my skirts fall down past my waist
the hems dragging the river's edge.
river wind tugs my hair out of its braid
to spiral around my hips
and fill the hollows of my body like water
lapping at the muddy river bank.
my shawls billow out
in green river's breath
catch on reaching poplar hands
and sumac arms
the river calls to me and
my skin answers in silver fishes scales.
i am constant movement,
hidden silence
diving into river's green heart.

A little singing before bedtime...

2010-03-26T05:39:00.007-04:00

I've had Captain by Abigail Washburn and the Sparrow Quartet in my head all day and finally tonight I just had to sing that first melody, at least my version of it...then I started to wonder what I sounded like. I've always had a singer fantasy but my voice is breathy at best with so very little range. No matter, singing brings me so much peace and joy that I can't deny it out of vanity. So, here is my little song, just a short lullabye before bed...and a handsome black cat of course...oh and a dog walking through, shaking his tags then throwing his old bones down on the floor. Wouldn't have expected anything different really.

Window Seat

2010-03-23T19:20:00.003-04:00

This chest covered with cushions and an old quilt makes a lovely window seat for a young reader and her fairy friend.

Pull up a chair, we can listen to records...

2010-03-23T19:01:00.005-04:00

Pull up a chair and have a seat, unless of course you want to sit in Riona's little rocking chair. I hope that she doesn't want it when she grows up because I'll have a hard time letting her have it. I found it at Jo's Corner, a shop in town that recently (and unfortunately) had to relocate. I don't know how old this chair is but it looks ancient and is stuffed with pine straw...how cool is that? Suits this pine tree loving Georgia girl just fine. The battered and gorgeous bookshelf is from Jo's too...$25...I'm not bragging or anything, I'm just pleased as punch to have the records all out instead of having them stashed in stacks behind the tv or stored in crates by the dining room table.
So, which record should I play? Neil Young or Bob Dylan?

I'm back...maybe

2010-03-20T07:57:00.003-04:00

Treesway

2009-07-06T19:38:00.003-04:00

Treesway in the coming storm
my heart aches with longing
words lodge in my throat
in the secret places of my
soul.
It is a fey dance, this blue fire
there are messages in the earth
in the leaves that tremble in the stormwind
in the sway of my
hips.
Hair swinging low
I press my hands against my heart
for it will surely
beat right out of my
chest.

Drunken bumblebees

2009-06-19T05:03:00.008-04:00

They come out, these children
Smelling of sunshine and graham cracker crumbs.
With their light filled eyes,
They laugh and scream-
"I feel unstoppable!"

Country mamas spill out of their bikinis.
Calling for Bubba, to come here right now!
While my girl does Interpretive Dance in her
saggy bottomed bathing suit.

I squeeze the water out of my heavy braid
and turn my face up to the
white sunlight, the
blue summer sky.

~L. Heilman

Summer Sleeping

2009-06-17T07:03:00.001-04:00

Summer Sleeping

Lay your head in my lap
and sleep the light down to dusk.
Dream curled inside the red,
The heavy heat
As the clouds sweep slowly overhead.

Like green growing things,
Dreams sprout delicate tendrils
Uncurling and
Waving their tiny hands in surrender
To the hot sticky air.

~L. Heilman

Apple Cider Vinegar for dog health and a thousand other things

2009-05-14T06:14:00.002-04:00

I have started using Apple Cider Vinegar on the dogs after coming across it over and over online in reference to all the wonderful things it is capable of. I mix up approximately a half and half solution in the spray bottle and spray all the dogs with it about once or twice a day. It is good for hot spots, itchy skin, repelling fleas and as a treatment for ear infections. So far, I have used it for all these things and I must say, I am impressed.
Here is a little more information on ACV for people as well as critters.

Earth Clinic - Two Legs

Earth Clinic - Furballs